How to Talk with Your Kids – at Any Age – About Sex

Parents often ask me …

“At what age should we have the talk?”

“What am I going to say?”

“What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I am uncomfortable having these conversations; is it okay to avoid them?”

Decades ago, some parents had the “birds and the bees” talk, a one-time, sit at the dining room table serious conversation. It was uncomfortable for everyone, it felt embarrassing, but it was one and done, parents felt with relief. How much did your kids remember from this awkward conversation? Probably not much because everyone was anxiously waiting for it to be over.

Other parents never gave the talk, and their children learned about sex from their friends or through a one-hour lecture and movie at school where the boys were separated from the girls and each received their own sex education instruction. How much did they learn? Discomfort distracted them from absorbing most of the information.

I tell parents, all humans are sexual beings, including your kids. You may be uncomfortable talking about sex, but it is part of human development, and it is natural and normal for your kids to ask questions. That is why I encourage parents to begin these conversations as early as their children start understanding language. Kids are naturally curious, and they will ask questions, and often.

That’s why it’s important to have these talks early, often, openly and honestly. When they ask about body parts, for example, tell them the correct anatomical names. It can be that simple when they are toddlers. That’s all they may want to know at that time. You want to encourage questions and open conversations. You want them to come to you for answers, not the kid at school or from a television program or the internet. There are teachable moments almost every day with our kids; take advantage of these small windows of opportunity to share a morsel of information. They will remember it, and they will begin trusting you for answers. This is the parent you want to be. You want to be the askable parent, a term I like to use because it best describes the role you want to play in your child’s life.

Here is some general advice I share with parents to help guide them in starting and keeping the communication going when it comes to sex, and all subjects. Remember, your kids have curious minds; they will bombard you with questions and often at least expected times.

  • It is not too early to talk with your toddlers about sex if they start asking questions. These early conversations will begin building the foundation for trust between you and your child. The questions at first will be simple and easy to answer with just a sentence or two. This will satisfy their curiosity.
  • Use clear and concise words your child can understand. Explain things with age-appropriate information.
  • Stay calm and follow your child’s lead.
  • Try to answer questions in a way that increases confidence and open communication, and keeps your kids coming back to you for answers. Become the askable parent!
  • Talk about boundaries early and talk about them often. For example, you can tell them, “it is okay to talk about your body and touch your body, but it is not okay for you to touch someone else’s, and it is not okay for them to touch yours.”
  • Don’t feel you need to tell everything at once. Think about what is appropriate to share at age 2, 5 or 10 … The discussion evolves in response to what your child needs to know at that age.
  • Even if you say something wrong, you can fix it. Try again. Conversations are two-way. If you’ve been having open and honest talks, your kids will let you know they need a better explanation.
  • There isn’t one “correct” way to teach your kids about sex. Chart the course that you feel works best for your kids. If you don’t know how to answer a question, tell your child you will get an answer for them, and make sure you follow through.
  • Don’t wait for the right time to have the talk. It won’t come. That is why ongoing conversations are so important.
  • Make sure you talk about consent, respect and safety; these should be ongoing discussions.
  • Many parents ask, “how do I know my child is ready for these conversations?” You know your children better than anyone; when they start exploring their body and trying to understand how it works, this is a cue they are ready to learn.
  • Parents also ask, “what if I give too much information?” It is better for kids to know more than not enough, but make sure what you share is accurate.

It is normal to feel awkward or embarrassed when you begin the sex conversations. It doesn’t make it easier, but who said parenting is easy? Your goal is to develop an open, comfortable and honest relationship with your kids. You want them to feel safe asking you questions or raising concerns.

These strategies can help foster healthy conversations about sex, relationships and almost anything on your child’s mind as they grow up.

If you still feel uneasy about the sex talks, extensive research shows comprehensive sex education is critical. Hundreds of studies show that when kids have the correct information, they are less likely to engage in sex and riskier behaviors, and there are fewer pregnancies, partners and STIs. Parents have given their kids the tools to make healthy and safe choices.

In summary, it never is too early to talk with your kids about sex; you are providing the tools they need to make safe and informed decisions. Open, honest communication with your kids will continue as they grow into adulthood.

I am conducting a webinar on Feb. 19, 2026 on this subject, which will dig much deeper into age-appropriate conversations, and I will provide some useful and practical tools to help parents in discussions with their kids about sex.